one more time with feeling
by stanzas
Summary: try it again, breathing's just a rhythm / jasonreyna


_**summary**_: try it again, breathing's just a rhythm

_**a/n**_ - it's midnight here and over a course of a week with supreme jeyna feels i've created the most heartbreaking jeyna fic i could produce except for the one i have planned for pjoshipweeks and yeah idk this one has some references even to that fic. ALSO BIG HUGS TO CHARLIE (notyourleo) FOR BEING AN AMAZING BETA I LOVE YOU /hugs tightly/  
also i think i stole some lines from star trek somewhere in here and also a lot of painful doctor who reminders hehehe see if you can spot them "rose tyler, I-"

the title is shamelessly stolen from regina spektor's song and the other song is just que sera by an artist whose name just slipped my mind whatever  
what am i doing anymore idk lmao bye

* * *

_**one more time with feeling**_

* * *

_(( hold on, one more time with feeling  
try it again, breathing's just a rhythm ))_

* * *

Her couch is never the ideal place for them to be together. Mostly because the couch is small; his feet always dangle off the edge and make wonderful victims to her dogs to lick and nip at while he is unaware. Also because it's an open space; anyone could walk into her villa at any time and interrupt them. She never liked being exposed. The open space made her feel vulnerable, open to attack, like when on a battlefield.  
Then there was the fact the couch was always too small, and that made it extremely hard for them to sit together.

Reyna had her chin on the top of the armrest, watching television and casually flipping through the channels to enjoy her night off. Jason was in the kitchen, which was most likely a recipe for disaster. She heard the sounds of Jason's swearing coming from the door - "-_FUCK SHIT OW - MOTHER OF A GORGON_-"

At this she stifled a laugh and smothered her cheeks into her pillow to groan afterwards. She'd been sick all week, from the cold going around camp that the healers couldn't seem to trace. For a while Jason told her he worried she would wake up with two necks one day and she slapped him.

Jason poked his head out of the kitchen. "Your microwave is malfunctioning," he announced, sitting down next to her and putting her legs over his lap and handing her a half-burnt bowl of popcorn.  
She laughed at his expression and wiped off a streak of soot from his cheek. "You mean you _broke_ my microwave."

"It became a nuclear reactor and I am lucky to have gotten out alive."  
Reyna laughed even louder and succumbed to a fit of coughs. Jason stuck his tongue out at her when she stopped hacking. "That's what you get for being mean."

She groped for the television remote like a dagger and pointed it threateningly at him. "I'll turn on the soap operas."  
"Nah, that'd be more torture for you than me." Jason pushed her feet off his lap. "Move over, I want to sit here too."

"I'm sick," she said in a thick congested voice.

"And I'm Jason Grace, nice to meet you, Sick." He pushed her a little off the couch and then pushed her back on top of him so she was sitting on his chest. "Perfect."

"You'll get my germs."

"What, girl cooties?" She slapped his arm. "Ow, kidding. Cool it, we're watching a movie. Act normal. Do normal things. Be normal."

She didn't know the movie or really pay attention to the scenes because her mind was too busy focusing on the sound of his heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest when he breathed. That alone was distracting enough, and his hands were playing with the loose strands of her hair from her sloppy braid she'd formed when she woke up in the morning.  
At some point she fell asleep and he simply pulled apart her braid and stayed on her couch, too stubborn to move and wake her up, too stubborn to leave.

Dakota burst into their villa early in the morning with an emergency parchment from Terminus about asking for city guideline regulations, and he found Reyna sitting on top of Jason, his feet hanging over the side of the couch.

"Uhm," he said, and both of them woke up and sneezed at the same time. Reyna opened her eyes groggily and glared at him. "We're sick, go away."

"Right," Dakota said. "Nevermind." He walked out and Jason groaned, finally awake.  
"I think you gave me your icky germs."

"Maybe you'll turn into a girl." He glared at her and she laughed, which came out raspy and dry. "You moron."

* * *

_(( He felt numb, binding numbness, just numb, as he touched the ground and cupped ashes from the ground and pulled up some of the grass and the earth with it. The grass was damp with dew and the sun over the forest slowly dipped beneath the horizon and the air felt suddenly cold._

_With shaking hands he let it fall back to the ground and heard a sound he didn't think was human, and then realized it was his own voice. A broken wail, and the sound echoed off the trees and bounced back, laughing at him, and he wanted to tear them all down, do something to get this tidal wave of a feeling he couldn't hold and he just wanted to scream at everything and SCREAM -  
__But even he, the amazing, oh so powerful Jason Grace, was suddenly powerless to fight the one thing he could never change. ))_

* * *

"-let me see him now!"

"Yes, praetor," the healer backed away hurriedly and scurried off to help other soldiers. Reyna pushed through the curtains and found him propped up in a bed, lazily flicking ripped pieces of paper off the side of his cot.

"You're a moron," she stated, taking deep breaths to calm the pounding feeling in her chest like she'd placed an anvil on her spine and was trying to weld it into a shape she couldn't conform with. He picked up his head and stared at her with cautious electric blue eyes and groaned from his pillow.

"I know," he said.

"Then why'd you do it?"  
The corner of his mouth turned upwards in a smile, and for the first time, Reyna couldn't read his expression. "Same reason you took that pila for me in the last war game."

"But that's just a game."

"Isn't life?" he laughed dryly. "Besides, I'm alive, aren't I?"

"You're a really, _really_, big pain in my ass, Grace."

"I try," he smirked and winced, adjusting his bandaged shoulder. "Now shoo, I have four ribs and one shattered femur to heal and you're not helping them mend. Shoo shoo."  
Reyna gave him one last glare and stalked out of the room.

* * *

_(( She can't cry. She's never cried. She has no tears left. She isn't about to break that streak either. Like she promised she'd never cry for him or anybody else.  
__The sky is the color of ashy gray, while she mourns a stone cold heart she isn't even sure is beating anymore. She wished it would stop, she could stop all this act and just accept-_

_Something inside her falls apart and she screams as loud as she can, because there's no point trying to muffle or cover it up. Just as quick and easy as ripping off a band aid.  
__Except her wound is sore and still bleeding and she doubts it will ever stop. And if it does it will leave the deepest most unfixable scar to blemish her for the rest of her life._

_There is no point in crying, she thought. There is only time to move on.  
__Then the part of her that is still suffering the most pain shot back; Move on from what? Because you never will. ))_

* * *

Really, Reyna hadn't meant to slip off the side of the fort. In a flash of two seconds she thought; _Well, this is it, I had a nice life, I guess_.  
Someone slammed into her side and she got shoved into the fort wall, gripping the sides of the wall and peeling off her nails because holy shit she's going to die-

"Oh sweet lord of Neptune you're heavy," she heard his familiar voice and unsealed her hands from the wall.

"Jason!?" she tried to maintain calm as she peered down the extra height and the entire fourth and fifth cohort staring at them incredulously. "What in the name of Pluto are you doing!?"

"Flying," he said nonchalantly, although he looked more like he was freaking out internally.

"When exactly could you do that?" Her resolve to stay calm faded. "Holy pissing hell you are _flying_!"

"I'm aware," Jason said, and then pushed her over the fort wall. "Now move before people remember how to fight."

"Could you fly before!?"

"I could sometimes balance my falls more easily, but flying, that's new," Jason said.

"And what exactly suddenly gave you the ability to _fly_!?" Now she was near hysterics, although the distracted legionnaires at the door posts to defend the flag were shaking out of their shock and starting angrily running at them.  
"When you were falling. I didn't want you to get hurt." She glared at him because he was so -_damn_- confusing all the time.

"Okay, let's try it again," she shoved him over the fort wall and he fell back to the opposing team. "Still flying?"  
"You suck!" he yelled back, and she laughed, cutting through opponents with glee to retrieve the flag and win the war game.

* * *

_(( He looked around the rows of anxious faces of campers and expressionless legions, and he doesn't understand why nobody is caring. She's dead and nobody gives a flying fuck. She's dead and never coming back. Not to punch his arm, tease him about his toga, get angry at him for the silliest things like being late to senate meetings and stealing her jellybeans, and no no nonono they're lighting the pyre-_

_He does nothing as the flames catch on the purple and gold engravings around her body catch and the ashes start to rise into the sky._

_He can't watch. He turned away and starts to walk and wander, alone with his thoughts, because they are bitter betrayal to his mind; how he didn't save her, and now he's left with nothing but the foul taste in his mouth, like he's inhaled the ashes from the fire in the middle of the camp. The heat heals the burns on his heart and recedes, and he suddenly feels very light. The weight falls off his shoulders. He doesn't have to watch out for her anymore.))_

* * *

He didn't pretend to hold in his weariness. He just put his hands out, picked up the banner that had fallen into the ground and snapped in half that looked more like a spear dug into the ground, and yanked it out. From the top of the mountains everyone could see him, still staring at awe or shock, he wasn't sure.

Jason wasn't sure his voice was working anymore and tried to say "We've won," but it came out raspy and weak. "We've won!" he yelled again, and his voice didn't sound like his own. Gravelly and rough, maybe because he was just screaming his throat out and now he'd damaged his vocal chords. He was too tired to think straight.

Down the mountain the legion burst into cheers. The remaining army retreated almost immediately and scattered when they saw Krios was gone. Jason glanced back at the giant black throne he'd just managed to push over, laying in shards of clear glass, reflecting the color of the sky.

He felt exhausted. A centurion tried to throw him a rope to climb down and Jason jumped down instead. He could fly down...probably.

That's not how it worked. He'd completely exhausted his energy defeating a titan. He slid down the rocks, his sneakers ripping even more and he almost fell over. Jason slid off the side and onto a ledge, slamming and crushing another person from the legion.  
"Jason!" someone barked underneath him, and he managed to push himself off the poor legionnaire. "Yes?" he asked groggily.

"Don't land on me!" Reyna looked cross.

"Mhmm, okay," Jason stumbled and fell to his knees. Her expression morphed into concern. "Come on, we're getting you to a medic."

"Okay," Jason droned, but he was too tired to stand again. Reyna slapped his cheek and the stinging awoke his senses. "Ow, what was that for?"

"You're not dying on me," she insisted.  
He hadn't noticed the line of blood across her cheek, spotting blood down her neck and her shirt and on him. His head was spinning and every part of him felt sort, like he'd strained every molecule of his body and melded it wrong, as if he'd tried to carry the entire world and run a marathon.  
"Yes m'am," he blinked and noticed they were no longer on the mountain. Reyna had him strapped to as they soared over the camp walls and breached into a medic bay.

It was pretty much a haze of red and black from then on, except her scowling face watching him, guarding him, her blazing eyes intent of making sure he made it through.  
"They said you'll be okay," she rubbed his hand that he didn't know she'd taken. Reyna sounded more like she was convincing herself, and not telling him.

"Mhmm, okay." Jason said, and the lights in the room started to head spun and Reyna's face hovered over his, multiplied a dozen times over her original face. Her scowl didn't face as he murmured and went to sleep: "Good night."

* * *

_(( She wished somebody would say something. It was eerily quiet, standing over the corpses of fallen demigods, her dagger and hems stained dark red from either her blood or the blood of somebody else._

_She felt numb, so mind blowingly numb, she doubted she'd ever feel the sting of harsh cold or the hiss of violent heat. She felt stuck in between, neither feeling or seeing, yet also taking in all the colors around her and the heavy feeling on her chest as she thinks about everything she's fought for and lost. It's over. The end._

_The end the end the end the end she wishes it would end, just finish the two words and she would cease to exist. The end the end the end the end..._

_The end of you, she thought bitterly. The end of everyone I've ever cared about. You're dead and the world is over. The end. Nothing is left. We never had a chance anyways, because you realized too late where your loyalty lay...and mine too. The end. The end. The end the end the end. ))_

* * *

She looked out over the fields and the forests and watched the orange shirts pass by, not noticing the encampment of Roman legions a stones throw away. She kind of wished they'd notice them, maybe attack, and maybe she could fall in battle and be relieved of the painful feeling in her chest she can't hold. Tightness inside her ribs like she was constantly having to hold her breath and wait for bad things to happen. She figured nothing worse could happen.

Behind her, the legion was preparing for rest and night watch for the (_impossible_) chance the Greeks would attack in the dark. She doubted that would happen.

Her dogs strolled the perimeters, barking for people to return to their tents and sleep, and one of them pulled on the hem of her toga and pulled her towards the camp.

Reyna managed to tear her eyes away from the sight of kids sitting around a campfire, singing and clapping, trying to be normal and resist the sadness that was enveloping herself and the world in it's power. To be innocent. To be unscathed. To be unbroken. To have never been let down.

He had once told her he'd always support her, whatever she tried to do, but she wondered if his loyalty would waver as she marched in with the legion to destroy a camp of innocents, his home for many months. Hers certainly would fall if he did the same to her. Then again she was Reyna; she never was good at trusting people in the first place,.

_Oh Jason_, she thought. _What has become of this world?_

* * *

_(( Nothing made sense. His head hurt just to think about it, try to focus on the last memory of her, like someone had wiped it clean off his slate and set it over again. Gone. Vanished. Her smiling scowl wouldn't sit right in his mind._

_He briefly wondered if he was going crazy, and the thought only made him smile. Yep. He was definitely going crazy.))_

* * *

"-I mean, I know we've never had the smoothest of relationships-"  
Reyna smirked, watching Jason stumble over his words and rubbing the back of his neck nervously, a sure sign he was going to either start professing his undying love for her or jump out the window and fly off to Egypt.

"Jason," she said calmly, eyeing his shoulder. "Your shirt is on fire."  
"I love you," he blurted out, which was totally unnecessary.  
"I know," she said. "Now go take a shower."

Jason just stared blankly at her like she'd slapped him. She was thinking about doing just that to snap him out of _whatever-the-hell-was-wrong-with-him_ phase. He blinked a few times and Reyna sighed deeply. "Are you going to just keep staring at me, blinking like Juno's stolen your brains, or are you going to do something?"

He took that a suggestion and grabbed her wrist and spun her back around, kissing her so firmly she had no chance to escape.  
She pulled away and looked at him curiously. "You need to shave." Jason grinned like a pathetic moron, nodding his head up and down like a puppet, and she resisted the urge to slap him again. "Also, the drama was totally unnecessary. I have enough for a lifetime listening to Octavian in the senate. By the way," she repeated, walking out of the room. "your shirt is still on fire."

Jason was still standing there dumbfounded, and she laughed when she heard his sudden yelp and laughed until he ran into her room to tell her to shut up.

* * *

_(( The sky mourns with her, mourning the loss of the sun, the clouds, all of the world has gone silent, waiting, holding its breath until she gives in one day. She's sure she'll cave. Today is not that day. But she knows she's close, very close to breaking._

_Grey, like storm clouds, hovers over the sun in an unsettling fog that won't lift. Her whole world is grey and lifeless, like his pale body when the goddess arrives to destroy her world, break the one last good leg she has and cripples her; she can barely stand._

_Sometimes she hears his laughter behind her, but she's sure it is his ghost haunting her. It isn't winter, but it is cold, so cold, like her heart of steel that has finally snapped in two._

_"Jason," she calls, and he doesn't answer. He never returns with her name. "Jason," she called._

_He can never answer, because he is pale and cold and lifeless and gone and dead to her, to himself, to the world. ))_

* * *

Jason had never been so relieved as the day he left the legion. All the stress and the wars and the fighting was just starting to lose its original charm; not that it had any to begin with.

He'd been in the legion for twenty-five years. Longer than anybody before him. New record, he thought glumly, walking through New Rome with his hands in his pockets.

She ran to catch up with him. "Jason!"

"Hey Reyna," he didn't turn. "Big day. Finally being liberated from responsibility." He gave a dry laugh. "Maybe I'll go to college."

"Whatever plans you have, I'll be right here to support you," she took his hand and swung their arms between them. "Right?"

"Right," Jason agreed, although his frown was unsettling, like he was remembering an unpleasant memory. "Always."

* * *

_(( She doesn't want to see them. The memories. Ones they could have had, ones they did, ones that never happened-_

_My dear, the goddess purred. Would you trade anything to take him back? Return to the ones you love?"_

_"I'd rather die," she spat. "And the only way I can see them again is if I DO die. You've won. Crushed Olympus. Why keep a puny demigod around and have her watch the world fall to ruin?"_

_We both know why that is, Gaea hummed. Because you feel the blame just as much as anybody else. And you know you could have done something to stop it._

_Reyna said nothing because she knows the goddess is right, or wrong, but she still blames herself, so she is right. ))_

* * *

Jason looked around the room and the pillows thrown on the floor, the sheets rolled up into curls so tight he doubted they'd ever not have wrinkles again, and then stared up at the ceiling like he'd been caught doing something naughty and needed a scolding.

She moved in the bed next to him and groaned. "I'm never going drinking again."

"That's not what you said last night," he managed to smile. Then he glanced down at his alarm clock and cursed. "Shit, we have a plane to catch in two hours. Get up."

She groaned and rolled over. "No, I'm tired."

"Reyna we have to go, like actually go."

"Five more minutes," she mumbled and pressed a pillow over her ears to block him out. Jason sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win the argument, and went to pack simple items that they hadn't already. Toothbrushes. Combs. A few other necessities.

By the time he had everything, Reyna was awake in the kitchen. She glanced at him and nodded approvingly. "Nice boxers."

"Shut up," he said, and tried to avoid looking down and feeling self-conscious. "You said something a little different from that last night."

In response she chucked one of the pillows on the couch at his head, and he ducked. He straightened and grinned. "Get dressed, we have to leave soon."

"It would be nice if you told me where we're going," she muttered into her coffee.

"Nah, that'd ruin the surprise," Jason said a little too cheerfully. He spun her around freely and their hands knotted together and sent electric pulses through his spine. The gold on each of their fingers clinked together as they walked into the bedroom to change again.

* * *

_(( It's all a lie but he can't stop watching, wondering, why it's so -damn- difficult for him just to have one thing; why can't I have a happy ending?_

_You will live the tragic hero, Juno told him. Nothing will ever end happily for you. Jupiter cursed him, he guessed, because either he was betrayed, or he betrayed someone else. Maybe that is why Piper never managed to stay. Or Reyna. Or my sister. Or anybody I cared about._

_What a shame, Juno whispered in his ear, although it was neither pity or sympathy. The tale of a hero is always tragic._

_Shut up, he told her. It is more tragic you watch and do not care, to gaze upon me who is suffering pain worse than death, and yet it is more entertaining to simply sit from your throne in the clouds while I dissolve in the earth._

* * *

He'd never heard her sing before.  
"_Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be_," he heard her humming and the child in her arms squirmed and cooed. "_The future's not ours to see, que sera, sera..._"  
He hummed the melody quietly and walked silently behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin on her shoulder to look over her. The baby in her arms blinked sleepily and stared at Jason like _who are you and why is nobody feeding me_ before sniffling and closing her eyes.  
"She's beautiful," he said, which wasn't a lie. He looked up to meet Reyna's gaze and said "And so are you."

"Sshhh" was all he got in response. "The baby is sleeping."

"You should too," he kissed her ear. "Time for mommy to sleep too."

"Time for daddy to already be in bed," she narrowed her eyes and set their daughter beneath the bars of the crib and kissed her forehead before straightening. "Why are you up?"

He hesitated, but decided not to share the news he'd just gotten by phone to her just yet. "Nothing." He locked her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Bedtime?"

She sighed. "If I can actually sleep without having to wake up every two hours to look after someone."

"Bedtime," Jason decided, pulling her into their room.

* * *

_(( She closed her eyes. Nothing could end happily for her. Your love story will be nothing short of tragic, Aphrodite's words haunted her mind. She blushed and giggled "Oops, spoilers. You'll have to learn on your own, sweetheart. Try not to recreate the events of Verona if you have any sense in you, my dear."_

_Reyna shut them tighter as if that would keep out the rush of memories and thoughts in her head. Finish it, she thought. There is no reason to keep me here. ))_

* * *

He never thought he'd hear scarier words coming out of their daughter than "I want to join the legion."  
Reyna dropped a plate in the sink and it shattered, sending soapy foam all over. Jason choked on his eggs and bacon and nearly went into cardiac arrest.

She stared at them with piercing blue eyes as if wondering if she said anything wrong. "Are you okay, mum?"  
Reyna opened and closed her mouth a few times and then pulled her hands out of the sink to walk over to her and pull her into a hug. "Honey, that's nice, but why don't you have a few years to decide-"

"I want to join," Thea insisted. "They arrived at school yesterday and told us about legion, why are you both always so against camp? Uncle Leo talks about it all the time-"  
Her voice faltered under Jason's glare, which meant he was probably going to have a word with her uncle the next time they met.

"She could try," Reyna nodded grudgingly, holding respect for their girl growing up and holding her husband's stern gaze. If she could survive that she was ready for legion. "Jason, we should give her a chance."

Jason looked like he was frozen in the spot and regarding his wife and daughter with hesitation. "Fine," he said, and she broke out into a grin. "But if anything happens, I'm pulling you right out."  
She ran around the table to give him a hug. "Thank you dad!"

* * *

_(( He's never felt so angry in his life, so bitter, so adamant to disobey because he feels everything is wrong, oh so wrongwrongwrong in his world, how he can't help but think of her every waking moment of his life and how she's haunted his dreams, told him to join her, to fly and join her, but for the first time he can't get a foot off the ground._

_"I want to fly with you," he says._

_She smiles softly at him, which is so unlike the Reyna he knew, living, breathing Reyna. "Not today, hero. Run and remember me."))_

* * *

She finds him sitting on the bench as usual, looking out at the tiny pond in their backyard with a large stone sitting right on the top of a piece of land like an island in a sea. She could see the way his shoulders sagged and shook that he was drowning in a sense of sorrow he hadn't let out for a very long time.

Reyna sat down next to him and put her hand over his, leaning her head on his shoulder. He sat up straighter for her, and sniffed, wiping his eyes with the cuffs of his sleeve.

"She always wanted peace," his voice was rough and gravelly, which reminded her of the time he'd defeated Krios and screamed his heart out in desperation. Desperation. She saw that in his eyes too, along with sadness, and anger, and sorrow that was pouring over his insides and making him boil.  
"It's not your fault," her eyes stung. "Jason, you can never blame yourself for things out of your control. Just breathe."

"It's just a rhythm," he repeated after her. "I can't remember that song anymore."  
Neither can she, really, but looking out on the pond and the little family of ducks swimming and gliding across the crystal water, she remembers a melody;  
"_Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be_," she hasn't sang since Thea was young, so little, still in diapers and trainers. "_Que sera, sera, that's what I said to you and you said to me, whatever will be will be, que sera, sera._"

The corners of his mouth twitched into a sad smile. "That wasn't the song I was thinking of."  
"_Hold on, one more time with feeling, breathing's just a rhythm,_" she hummed quietly. "I forget the rest, just that you and I used to dance to it."  
Jason took a deep breath and cleared his eyes, the normal blue spark returning. "Just breathe, right?"

"Right," she agreed, glancing out over the calm waters of the pond except the paddling ducks on the edge, and the tombstone too far out to see although she knows what it reads. The name he refuses to say because it brings them both sorrow, because parents are never supposed to bury their children, and certainly not this young.

"It will pass," she said. "It always does."  
"But we don't forget," Jason closed his eyes and she just held his hand and stared out at the hills and the pond of empty spirits sitting in the front of them.

* * *

_(( She blinks back tears and stares at the photograph in her hands, the edges slightly charred off, and pushes her hands through his old bed and squeezes her face into the fabric, although the smell of him has long faded, it's gone and vanished just like him. Outside the wind howls for its own lost lover and the thunder crackled and exploded with a fury similar to her own._

_She puts back the little statue of Peter Pan he nicked at the Charleston gift shop museum, the one Dakota and her painted the hair gold to tease him about being a blonde Peter pan. She now realizes they were right._

_"Lost boy," she says softly. "Fly home to me." ))_

* * *

She's so stupidly brave, he decides, as the rain drips off her cheeks and her nose and the- _whatever that is_ - bellows and sniffs the air for them.  
"Fly," she said. "I'll distract him."

"You're insane," Jason said. "if you think I'm leaving you. Not happening."  
She glares at him in a way that might mean he is going to get punched. "Don't make me send you home cowering behind your toga."

"You're not fighting it alone," he repeats, grabbing her hand and spinning her around. "Not without me."  
Her glare could turn even Medusa to stone.

* * *

_(( Lightning arches in the sky like fireworks while he sits out in the rain and the wind blows and ruffles his shirt and hair. The cold doesn't bother him because he's long used to shutting out emotion, all feelings, he doesn't notice it._

_He opened his eyes and they were full of light. ))_

* * *

"I'm not leaving you," Jason repeated, gripping her hand tight enough for it to hurt. A car sails over their head with ease and his determined expression, his blue eyes searching her own, are the only things keeping her in place.

"Fine!" she snapped. More lightning sparked and Jason grinned. "Great, let's go blow up stuff."  
"I'm going to regret this," she muttered, and he unleashed his sword and the full fury of the storm while she launched herself behind him, agile and sharp, like her sword and dagger.

It's too much for them and she knows it. When it slams into Jason and the horns impale him in the chest and the color red drops down his shirt and he goes blank, and the lightning strikes the monster one last time, but that's not enough. It just gets angry, picking her up easily, and all she can do is scream, but not for her own fear. Just as he slides down the wall and the light in his eyes finally dies, the kind she's never wanted to see-

The scaly hands of the beast wrap around her throat and something snaps and everything is numb now, and then everything is gone.

* * *

_(( Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be... ))_

* * *

_So do you see?_ the goddess curls her earthen hands over his feet and releases him. He gasped for air and choked, because his throat feels like it's on fire. _I can give you a choice. To give you a life with you and your love, without fear of monsters, because fate only has tragedy in store for you, Jason Grace._

_Que sera,_ he can still hear Reyna's voice. _Whatever will be will be.  
_"No," he choked, because even though life without her would not be life at all, he can not bear to betray the only good things left in his life. The goddess if full of lies and plans to destroy them all. He doesn't trust her like he trusts Reyna.

_As you wish_, her eyes are molten, as deep and as old as the earth. She spun in a tidal wave of green and black and then Jason slammed into solid ground.  
Then he realized he wasn't alone; a familiar face with a braid down her side, a purple shirt and dark jeans, although her dagger was missing from her side...

"Reyna," he said. "Are you okay? Where are we?"  
She turned around to face him and looked just as confused. "Are you really here?" she asked suspiciously, her hand crawling for her empty scabbard.  
"It's me, Jason!" Jason immediately raced his hands around her to embrace her. "Did you see all those- those whatever they-"

"_Choose_," several voices spoke at once behind them. Jason spun and gasped. Three old ladies, hunched over a loom, with thread and scissors as they measured each life and cut when it would end. _"One of you must balance the scale. To save or destroy the world."_

"What is that supposed to mean?" Reyna demanded.

"_You know well, daughter of Bellona_," the middle hag spoke, her skin as wrinkled as that of the ear of an elephant. She looked as old as time itself.

Jason already knew, but the question was just innocent, wanting to know if their reasoning was real, if what they thought was real-  
"Me," Jason said immediately. Reyna shot him a look like _shut the fuck up before I hurt you what the hell do you think you're doing right now_ but he really didn't care. "I can balance it. Let her live."

"No!" Reyna yelled, her eyes blazing. "You are not sacrificing yourself for me, dammit, Jason Grace! Not now, not _ever_!"  
"Reyna-"

"_Consider the consequences,_" the one on the left said.

_"For Jason Grace, his death would mean the destruction of humanity, but Reyna would remain alive forever as Gaea's trophy to boast her victory into oblivion. She would walk the earth alone for centuries, an outcast and forced into exile."_

"_For Reyna, her death would mean the end of the attack on the Greeks, sparing them for longer time, and the eventual defeat of Gaea,"_ the one on the right said in a raspy voice that made Jason's skin crawl. _"However soon after the battle Jason would be offered immortality from his father to join him on Olympus, leaving him like Hercules, unable to die, cursed to remember his mistakes for all eternity."  
_Jason met her eyes, and he already saw the way her jaw set and her eyes relaxed she had made up her mind. "Reyna, don't."

"I will balance the scales," she said calmly. "I pledge myself to the fate of the gods."  
He wanted to scream at her for being ridiculous, by the way the corner of her eyes flinched and teared, she made a small smile and said "_Que sera_. Our fate is nothing but tragic. The lives of many outweigh the life of the one."

"Reyna, I-"

* * *

_(( whatever will be, will be, que sera, sera ))_

* * *

He is beyond exhausted, and by the weary faces of the rest of the crew, they are too. He'd be surprised if they weren't.

Leo fell asleep on Piper's shoulder and she jostled him awake. He blinked a looked around confused, as if wondering how he got on Olympus, before shaking his head and snapping awake. A palace like this is sure to wake anyone up. Not just Olympus- _Olympus_, Olympus. The _original_ Greece. And the twelve gods- _thirteen_, he corrected himself, as Pluto appeared in a provided chair near Vesta behind the council. All of them were staring at the group intently and made Jason feel self-conscious. Most had looks of approval, although a few remarked Percy with disdain and Jason caught a few gods in the background; one with dark eyes and dark hair staring at him a little too forcefully to be ignored, practically glowering.

Hazel was in tears, neither brother nor other to comfort her except Percy, who patted her shoulder and kept a strong face on for grown-up things; like the council meeting in front of them. There hadn't been a meeting in the original mount Olympus for hundreds of years.

Juno shrunk from her throne and came to embrace them. Before any of them could say anything or tell her to bug off she touched their foreheads and their wounds and weariness faded away instantly. Annabeth flinched when the goddess smiled at the group.  
"You have done well. As I planned."

Hazel burst into tears again. Jason felt like joining her in the grief counseling. He'd just seen his best friend- maybe more- slip away in the clutches of death because fate gave them a choice. And Piper was shunning him, although he supposed he deserved it, but everyone was just tired.

His father cleared his throat and Juno returned to her chair. Jupiter made a long speech about their heroics, their bravery, strength to defeat the giants and etc, etc, etc, he doesn't care enough to listen.  
"- and none would deny their excellent duty for the council," Jupiter glances pointedly around the room. "As tradition the heroes responsible for helping us defeat the giants shall receive a reward. Very rarely do we offer such a gift-" his steely blue eyes narrowed on Percy Jackson, who defiantly stared him back as if saying you got something to say to me? Honestly, Jason decided his father deserved a little humility.

"- a chance to join us on Olympus," Jupiter finished his speech. "Immortality. Few have declined this offer. It is once in a lifetime." Cue glare at Percy Jackson, who suppressed a smile.  
Jason wasn't a genius, but he had heard of Percy Jackson's famous offer to become a god on Olympus. At first he'd felt a little jealous. And even a little frightened; _immortality_?

"Any objections to this offer?" Jupiter asked.

"Yes," Hazel and him spoke at the same time, and he wasn't sure who was more surprised. He glanced at Hazel, who swallowed, and stepped forward.  
"With all due respect, Lord Jupiter," Hazel said. "Immortality does not suit me. Besides; I have a claim somewhere else."

"That she does," a black winged god with glowing skin materialised. Pluto glared at him from his throne and the winged god rolled his eyes. "Hazel Levesque must return to the underworld with me, as her proper fate. None cheats death."  
Several pointed glare at Pluto, who lowered his head. "May I speak to my daughter for a moment?"

_Obviously_, Jason thought, _because you're the god of death, it's your choice._

Hazel walked up the steps with echoing sounds in her steps in the silent throne room, except for Vesta tending the hearth in the center of the room. Her father stepped down from his throne and shrunk to size, speaking quietly to her. He said a few words and she suddenly smiled, tears glistening down her face and hugged him. The god of death looked surprised, and kissed her forehead, a blessing.  
She walked back to Thanatos, hugging Percy and Annabeth, then Piper and Leo, and finally Jason.

She met his eyes because she understood the pain Jason was going through, and whispered "You'll make the right choice, I know you will."  
Hazel stepped away and smiled at all of them, and Thanatos gripped her hand and his black wings enveloped them, and vanished into the shadows of the flickering fire.

The throne room went silent. Jason cleared his throat and realized how everyone was staring at him, just him, and he said "Lord Jupiter..."

"Father," Jupiter said.

"Father," Jason corrected himself. He felt Juno's gaze on him most powerful and clenched his fists. "As much as I appreciate the generous offer...I have other ties to my mortality as well. Immortality means forever, and well," he saw Percy catch his eye, but he was smiling and nodding approvingly. "Forever means no change." He rushed on. "There's someone...someone I _need_ to stay with down here, if you don't mind. If anything I've learned from my experiences -" he sighed. "...is that no matter how mortal you are, you realize how much more precious the smallest things are, and honestly, I don't want to lose that."

He turned and saw the faces of his friends, who were all in agreement. "The rest of us are feeling the same, on your offer, however tempting. Forever is a long time, and really, all I need to do is find that one thing to live for, and when I find her, that's all the time I will ever need."

* * *

_fin_


End file.
